Slowing down giving myself grace

Why do we live so much for tomorrow when it can never be caught?

I am beginning to learn. God had to force my hand this week, as I mentioned in a previous post, but it is time to slow down.

Today while I was in the middle of folding laundry I had a break and put “Pink” (nail polish) on PeeWee’s toes. Then instead of the great lesson on hearing that goes along with the “Who was Hellen Keller” unit we are working on I let the kids cover the table with paper and make an outer space scene. Then we sat on my bed and read a poem about families and I challenged them to write a poem for our Christmas letter. We still haven’t done math but they are outside picking and eating the last of the carrots and having a grand ol’ time. I’m resting and writing. Both of which are equally relaxing for me.

With each of my kids (except the 1st) I’ve had a time where I thought we were done growing our family. With Pee Wee it was the most pronounced. I grieved when she quit nursing. I clung to every little thing she still possessed of her infancy. Now that I’m pregnant again I feel so humbled and blessed but also so tired it is hard to revel in the moment. I want to remember the movements that tickle my ribs, savor the feelings of wonder as I daydream about what he will look like, feel like and who he will grow up to be.

I want to embrace these times that are so fleeting. There is a whole lifetime ahead of me for going and never will any day stop for me to catch my breath, squeeze another big hug out of my toddler or make a space station in my kitchen.

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4 Comments

Filed under Random, Reality, Ruse

4 responses to “Slowing down giving myself grace

  1. Love this! The first line caught my attention in a heartbeat and I enjoyed reading the rest. Good luck with your pregnancy!

  2. mel

    Jesse,

    I needed this reminder today. Thank you so much for this beautiful post. This time with our little kiddos is so fleeting–let’s enjoy the days.

    Blessings to your family,
    Mel

  3. Grammy Lynda

    This is such a precious post, so open and real. Thanks, Jessie. It’s been a very long time since I thought about the grieving of knowing (or thinking you know–teehee) that this baby (which ever one it is)could be your last.
    What a fun day you all had! I know you are trying so hard to get all the homeschool stuff in, but it sounds like this was the ‘perfect’ homeschool day. Love you and miss you so much.

  4. Sounds like a perfect day! I know that with my last two pregnancies I have tried to relish each fleeting moment as I wasn’t sure if it would be the last time I experienced them. It is hard to do sometimes but I think God lays those reminders on our hearts when we start sweating the small stuff and letting the good things slip by. Enjoy those precious blessings and keep taking those moments for yourself.

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