Choices in Fertility

This is the 2nd in a series of posts I’ve written with ramblings on pregnancy, birthing, chiropractic that works for turning babies in utero and more.

It started here…I feel like I’m on the big upward climb of a daunting rollercoaster. Click, click, click…. When will I reach the top? I’m afraid but elated. How long will it last? My heart beats a crazy rhythm. Oooo boy, here we goooooooooo!

How funny that this post is going up right after Valentine’s Day.

Choices in Fertility

I never thought of myself as the mothering type and yet I’m on baby five! We’ve had choices along this way and I wouldn’t do a thing different. All except the timing of my first child (I think that one tends to surprise a lot of people but I’m NOT complaining), my kids have been planned. One option I’ve used: birth control pills (various different low hormone types) made me sick in more than one way. The “permanent” options out there are not fool proof, not to mention expensive as well as risky. So after going the mainstream route for years, dissatisfied and misrable, I now choose to know about my body. I love to know!

When I first read Taking Charge of Your Own Fertility I was angry that no one had told me the simple facts one can learn just by paying attention. I quit wallowing and decided to be a good student of my body from then on.

When to do something permanent:

I asked my midwife after delivering my 3rd, “When do you know it is time to do something permanent. When it is time to be done?”

She said, “You’ll feel like your family is complete. You will know that you are whole.”

There is always a chance that this is the last pregnancy but I still can’t shake the feeling that we are missing someone. I won’t be surprised if God blesses us once again. And no, that doesn’t mean I don’t know how it happens! 🙂 In fact, I’ve been so consistant and successful charting that with three out of four of my children I went into labor on my due date. The last, my drama queen wanted to make a grand entrance, she was late.

When you aren’t ready for the “snip” but want a workable, inexpensive option in birth planning:

Want tips on knowing your body and successful birth/cycle planning, simply by applying knowledge your body already supplies you? I’d be happy to answer question OR pick up Taking Charge of Your Fertility at the local library. If you agree with the method, you might need to buy it to refer to. If you don’t, it costs less than a doctors appointment. 🙂

What I understand about how the Fertility Awareness Method differs from other methods is that it is NOT the rhythm method. It used scientific truths to help you learn how to chart what YOUR body does (not the average woman) because we all know, none of us is “average” right? 🙂 Where several other methods use only two ways of tracking your changes, F.A.M. uses three and I will tell you that I was a slacker and ignored the 3rd with this last baby, which caused me to be convinced he was a girl based on timing but I was neglecting a necessary part of my chart.

I started this method with paper charts and the mystery of trying to understand my own charts but now I use their handy computer program which interprets your chart for you. Not to mention there have a great online forum.

Infertility So, here I am, in the last few weeks of pregnancy and I count it such a blessing. My heart bleeds for my dear friends who have not been able to conceive or who find themselves without ever considering the question “how many kids will we have” because even having one has been difficult a journey. I love you all. I constantly remind myself that each discomfort, challenge and even pain is a miracle that I am priveledged to have. Some long and crave to experience it just once.

If you are still trying and frustrated by the lack of answers you receive, Taking Charge of Your Fertility might be a great resource for you too. I’ve been a part of the joy when someone who had previously lost her babies, finally delivered without the use of infertility drugs. Again, it’s cheaper than a doctor appointment and doesn’t hurt to try. Knowledge can be power.

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17 Comments

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17 responses to “Choices in Fertility

  1. Michele

    Your comments about knowing when your familyis complete are right on. After my 4th and 5th, everyone assumed we were done, but I knew in the back of my mind that we weren’t. Now that 6 is on the way, I know for certain that this is it. It’s just a feeling of completeness in this chapter of my life.

  2. I agree with Michelle. Most of our friends did something permanent after three. We just wondered how on earth you could ever be certain you were done. After four, we knew. 🙂

  3. Also going to say…I’m always intrigued by women who do this kind of planning. I couldn’t do it, but am intrigued by those that have the discipline to do so.

    • What do you fear would have been the hardest part? I actually plan to use this method until menopause to avoid unnecessary expense and discomfort for either of us. I know you don’t have a choice now Angela but I’m curious what is daunting about it in your opinion.

      • Jessie, for me, what is difficult is that the most fertile time of a woman’s cycle is also the most pleasurable for her. God designed it that way, and I think it is pretty cool. But basically (in this method) you have to be content with having fun “other ways” for all of your childbearing years, unless you want to get pregnant during your fertile time. To me, that makes pleasurable sex seem like its only purpose is reproduction. I just didn’t really have the discipline (or desire) to deny our marriage that kind of pleasure and fun for all of my childbearing years.

        But I say that knowing that maybe the fertile time of the month doesn’t give every woman the same kind of desire as it does me.?? I don’t know how TMI I want to be here. 🙂 I just couldn’t do it!

  4. Nadine

    As someone who has struggled many years with secondary infertility (means we had one child and now medically unexplained are unable to have more), and wrestled with releasing my timing vs God’s, I like how you explained the knowing when you are done. In my heart I know we are not done, (and it’s not just me trying to wish it into existence). I know there is at least one more little person for us wether adoption or natural, but my struggle is with patience and timing. Since we know there is nothing medically wrong, and our son was ‘made’ all natural, I have to trust God. That is freeing in regards to charting etc but oh so hard in many other ways.

    • You really should check out the book Nadine. It has a whole section on infertility and, though it doesn’t assume everyone can “make” a baby (haha) magically happen, there are lots of great tips and explinations for why that sort of thing might have taken place. Hit the library, girl! 🙂 If nothing else you get a great education on your own cycle/body.

  5. Great review of the charting option! Most women either don’t know it existences or assume it is the old rhythm method. I love charting! I also had my baby on her due date thanks to charting. 🙂

  6. I knew I wanted six kids from the time I was 11 or 12. After the fifth, I had 7 years of barrenness. I knew someone was missing. Sitting around the dinner table at night seemed so awkward for so many years. After seven years, the Lord gave us Rebekah Joy.

    Nadine, I discovered late in life there were two things affecting my fertility that mainstream doctors rarely consider. One was a tipped uterus, another a thyroid imbalance. They are easy enough to check, pretty easy to overcome. May the Lord bless your womb!

  7. Angela, good point. Thanks for responding. Sorry to make you give TMI! 🙂

    Yes, I have the same experience and that’s where the fail factor is because the only time alternative methods of BC are going to work is when a woman is fertile. So, there is always that risk as long as she is in her childbearing years. So true.

    It takes a lot of creativity or sometimes frustration or chance of another baby… 🙂

    But also, isn’t it strange that most people take BC or use barriers ALL month long, even though we are only fertile a couple days month. Guys are fertile all the time! They should come up with a guy BC.

  8. It is so very important to wait until you know before you do anything permanent. My hubby had a vasectomy after our 2nd, we were 23 and 21 years old! One of the biggest, heat breaking mistakes we have ever made. We never considered 5 years down the road. Our boys want to be big brothers so bad. But God is good and we are starting foster care very soon. I just know out of years of wanting a child so very bad, that it is to big of a decision to take lightly. I don’t know about planning. If we were able to have more children, knowing my husband (your brother) we would have a very full house! Can’t wait to meet the new guy. Praying your labor come early this time.
    Mary

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