Tag Archives: perspective

Slowing down giving myself grace

Why do we live so much for tomorrow when it can never be caught?

I am beginning to learn. God had to force my hand this week, as I mentioned in a previous post, but it is time to slow down.

Today while I was in the middle of folding laundry I had a break and put “Pink” (nail polish) on PeeWee’s toes. Then instead of the great lesson on hearing that goes along with the “Who was Hellen Keller” unit we are working on I let the kids cover the table with paper and make an outer space scene. Then we sat on my bed and read a poem about families and I challenged them to write a poem for our Christmas letter. We still haven’t done math but they are outside picking and eating the last of the carrots and having a grand ol’ time. I’m resting and writing. Both of which are equally relaxing for me.

With each of my kids (except the 1st) I’ve had a time where I thought we were done growing our family. With Pee Wee it was the most pronounced. I grieved when she quit nursing. I clung to every little thing she still possessed of her infancy. Now that I’m pregnant again I feel so humbled and blessed but also so tired it is hard to revel in the moment. I want to remember the movements that tickle my ribs, savor the feelings of wonder as I daydream about what he will look like, feel like and who he will grow up to be.

I want to embrace these times that are so fleeting. There is a whole lifetime ahead of me for going and never will any day stop for me to catch my breath, squeeze another big hug out of my toddler or make a space station in my kitchen.

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The grumps, free graphics for collague, homework, mom woes

I’m so grumpy today. What a way to start a post huh? I can’t figure if it is simply the weather (rainy and overcast) but what bothers me about that possibility is that I don’t NOT like the weather. What a mouthful! It is refreshing, smells so clean, great for the garden etc. How could I protest that? Yet, is my body protesting against my will?

Is it business? Stress? Baby blues? I’ve been much better lately about being in the Word first and foremost in my day. That helps. I used to do it before bed but now days that time is best used doing chores and I listen better to the Lord when my mind is slow (quiet might be a better choice of words) and moldable. Once the day gets going I am off to a hundred different agenda’s from homeschool to potty training to finding some sanity as a person. Am I a person anymore? Have any of you felt like that before? Like your life, kids, projects, whatever, rob you of your personality, strip the creativity and humor from your usual self? I feel like that lately. I’m humorless and just plain grumpy.

Well, one thing I do know is that the Lord wouldn’t have me dwell  on those thoughts so even though that’s where I want to wallow I think I’d better move on to another topic and see if I can’t get a better perspective.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:8-9 (NIV)

True – Hmmm, well this is random and probably not what Paul was talking about but I found a free graphics site for collage projects. I’m excited because I’m still trying to get a little bit of art into my days. I love to journal and it is great fun to journal with art mediums; paint, collage, markers, colored pencils etc. I’ve been wanting to post some more pics of various pages but… so much to do so little time! I know what’s true about it… it is true there are places to find free graphics but really the thing I love about journaling is the conversations that go on between my soul and Christ. Sometimes while I’m praying I write down the thoughts, other times I am in a certain mood and I will paste various things to a page and leave it for months then along comes a sermon topic that fits exactly with that page/mood and I’m able to complete the thought as a sort of conversation between me and my Maker. He speaks gently and deliberately, taking as much time as needed and through the art journal I am able to visualize that communication. It’s neat! I keep track of prayer requests and answers, topics I am struggling with and answers, precious moments with my children and husband or the difficult ones but always there is my Jesus, listening and teaching. That’s TRUE.

Noble – Webster’s includes these definitions;

  1. of an exalted moral or mental character or excellence; lofty: a noble thought.
  2. admirable in dignity of conception, manner of expression, execution, or composition: a noble poem.

And this is what came to mind. I’ve been urging the women in my Bible study to pray about and seek earnestly a “verse to live by” that they can learn, dwell on and cling to throughout our next study. I have yet to do MY homework. 🙂 But the following verse keeps coming up so I think the Lord has revealed the verse I am supposed to work on.

But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:37-39 (NCV)

 

Right – Again, trusty Websters: that which is in accord with fact, reason, propriety, the correct way of thinking, etc

 

I am Elizabeth Bennet!

Well, I don’t know about FACT but I took the Emma Adaptations quiz and my results were a reasonable description of me. This is what they said…

 “You are Elizabeth Bennet of Pride & Prejudice! You are intelligent, witty, and tremendously attractive. You have a good head on your shoulders, and oftentimes find yourself the lone beacon of reason in a sea of ridiculousness. You take great pleasure in many things. You are proficient in nearly all of them, though you will never own it. Lest you seem too perfect, you have a tendency toward prejudgement that serves you very ill indeed.”

Pure – Peewee was in pure bliss this morning when she discovered the boys had left the sugar tin out on the counter. She scooped a good cup full out onto the table, licked her plump little fingers and went to town scooping and licking until I caught her! Even though she was in trouble the look on her face was absolutely heaven.

Lovely – My cozy, grass green sweater, a cup of coffee and a fire in the stove.

Admirable – How my husband puts up with my grumpy moods and no matter what I throw at him he says “I’ll pray for you” and usually has an idea of something I could do or think about that would help my perspective.

Praiseworthy – My children playing happily together in spite of the fact that I’ve holed up in the basement (where that fire is) with the computer and my sweater. They even made PB & J for everyone for lunch. I’m not going to say anything about the jumping on the couch they are doing because they don’t think I know.

Okay, well I have to say I do feel better and I think I might go have a PB&J

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Perspective, business, keeping house

I thought this would be a good week for me to practice perspective. I know in my head that I always have 400 times more tasks laid out than anyone can possibly accomplish in a lifetime. I caught myself grumbling at my husband about some of the things that are left undone and nagging on me. But in the same hour wanting him to be around just to talk, hang out with me and the kids and maybe even help the boys with math.

Well, hon, I had to remind myself there are only 24 hrs in a day you know!

I’ve been trying to learn the lessons of pacing and picking my battles. What really matters? That the kitchen is clean or that the kids learn and grow and my husband and I still love each other at the end of the day?

Maybe some months or some years those don’t have to be mutually exclusive but this month, this week we can’t do it all!

I’ve been picking one thing at a time that is nagging on me and tackling it, taking as many days as it takes to completion. The first task was our room. I’ve always wanted Matt and my bedroom to be a place of refuge. A sanctuary from the craziness of a busy family. It had gotten out of control with baby stuff, my projects, laundry… You know!

I am proud to say I am very close to done.

But each day has it’s own problems too. Today I woke up early, too early ;), to a load of dog doodo on the laundry room floor, a kitchen that had been overworked the night before and lay in shambles, and then a little gal with terrible diarreah from getting crackers at church this weekend. I hadn’t even had breakfast and company was coming at eleven.

Thank the Lord, the women who were coming are the kind who would have cleared their own spot to sit, swept the floor for me or fed me lunch if it was really that bad. So I had nothing to worry from them. It’s ME!

In Matthew it says to seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I can sure attest to that.

I actually took a little break from untangling several skeins of yarn to write this post. Someone decided my yarn bag would be great fun.

I’m trying not to be so hard on myself and my kids. Trying to start my days in the Word or maybe I need to consider a different appointment with the Lord like naptime or bedtime. I love doing devotions in a multi media art journal. I wrote a funny post about that on another crazy mom day. It helps me not be so rigid, keeps me going and not self edit etc. The organic nature of art, crayons, paint, ripped up magazines or whatever get my creativity going and help stop the voice of doubt that says I haven’t read long enough or gone deep enough.

Anyway I am rambling. Just needed to do something without doing something while I “rest”! Haha!

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